The Freedom to Ask for What You Want: For the Malibu Woman

What does freedom mean for a woman in Malibu? It is easy to think it is the view: the Pacific at the end of the canyon road, the light on the water at five o'clock. But the deepest freedom is quieter and braver. It is the freedom to ask, out loud and without apology, for what you want.

Why is asking so hard for ambitious women?

You can run a company, raise a team, close a round, finish a manuscript. And still, when it is time to say the sentence that matters most, something in you softens it. I was just wondering if maybe. Only if it is not too much trouble. We were taught, many of us, that wanting is fine as long as nobody hears it.

But think about the women you admire most. They are not the ones who never wanted anything. They are the ones who said it clearly: I want the bigger role. I want more time for my own work. I want to be paid for what I bring. I want a love that makes room for my ambition. They asked, and asking changed the shape of their lives.

What does the ocean in Malibu teach about asking?

Stand at the edge of the water in Malibu and watch for a while. A wave does not ask permission from the shore. It gathers, it rises, it arrives. Sometimes it pulls back. Then it comes again, a little differently, and again. That rhythm is not failure. It is persistence that looks like grace.

I have always loved waves, as an artist and as someone who studied physics and biology. The sine and cosine curves I filled notebooks with became the Wavy Diamond Ring, a curve of 18K recycled gold and natural diamonds that follows your finger. I like to think of it as a small, constant reminder: rise, arrive, and if the first answer is no, rise again.

How do you start asking for what you want?

Not with a grand speech. With one honest sentence. A few ways to begin:

• Name it before you negotiate it. Write down exactly what you want, in one line, before the conversation. If you cannot write it, you cannot ask for it.
• Remove the apology. Read your email again and delete every "just" and "sorry" that is not doing real work.
• Let silence work. After you ask, stop talking. The pause belongs to the other person now.
• Ask yourself first. Some of the most important requests are the ones we make to ourselves: permission to rest, to change course, to begin.

What changes when you ask?

Something shifts even before anyone answers. You hear your own voice saying the thing, and it becomes real. You stop waiting to be chosen and start choosing. That is the freedom I believe in most, the freedom to choose your own life and fulfil yourself, and it is what our mantra means to me: feel the freedom of being alive.

Some moments deserve something you can see. The day the answer was yes. Or the day you finally asked, whatever the answer was. The Wavy Bow Diamond Hoops, a wave tied into a bow with approximately 1.85 ct of natural diamonds, are for that kind of day: a gift you tie for yourself.

If you are drawn to slower rhythms on this coast, you might also enjoy Freedom Is Choosing Your Own Pace, my essay for the woman building her life in Malibu.

A note on the pieces

Margaret Krinetz Fine Jewelry is handmade in Tel Aviv and shipped to Malibu. Each piece is made to order in 4 to 6 weeks, then travels by DHL Express in 3 to 5 business days, with free shipping over $1,500.

Frequently asked questions

How long does delivery to Malibu take?

After 4 to 6 weeks of handmade production, DHL Express delivers to Malibu in 3 to 5 business days.

Can I customize a Wavy piece to mark my moment?

Custom requests are welcome, from metal color to size to a personal touch. Write to me and we will see what is possible for your piece.

Which Wavy piece is best for every day?

The Wavy Diamond Ring is the easiest to live in, since it is the piece you see most as you work, write and wave hello.

So tell me: what is the one thing you are ready to ask for this season? Write to me, I would love to hear it, and if you want a wave to mark it, we will find the right one together ✨️🤍